Lessons for ones in their late teens
Most of the learning and meaningful experiences that you encounter happens in your early twenties. I have spent significant part of time in the last one year pondering life and this is my small attempt to put down few of the subtle yet important learnings and which might help you as well.
Living in the now
More often than not we forget that all we have is now. Past is gone, you no more have control over it. Future is yet to come. So why fret or regret for the things that have happened or set to happen? Instead of worrying about them, think about the things that you can do now so you don’t regret next time.
Comparing YOU Vs YOU
Feels great to get more likes than your friend for a Instagram post you made recently right? How about the other way around. No so good yeah?
Outperforming your friend in a test? Again you can sense your feel-good hormones come into play. Does it sound the same when you are in the other end? No right. You get bogged down.
So, next time when you make a comparison, Remember there is always someone who is doing well than you in all fronts. Everyone is unique and blessed with something unique. The friend of your brother who is earning a 7 digit salary might be doing terrible in his/her social life. So it is futile to live a life in relative terms with your neighbor(Again I would not say no to a healthy comparison). Instead, Compare You-Today with You-a year ago. Make efforts to better and upskill yourself and even if it’s a small improvement, it’s great and don’t forget to celebrate the small wins for they will make you more confident.
Build meaningful connections
Feels good to get a lot of wishes and calls right at 12 on your birthday? Yes it would.
Think about someone having no one to share the news of him/her making it to a top B-school? Sounds sad.
How about a video-call with your old school friends when you are feeling down? Feels nice again right?
Even if the answer is a No for these , I’m not going to come to terms with you irrespective of how old your are.
We are social beings and cannot a lead completely independent life. Growing old is often a lonely process. Happiness is best experienced when shared and same goes with handling sorrow times. We constantly look out for help and validation (though not poised to be good thing) in varying degrees from others. So build meaningful connections and good social network both in the personal and professional front. Though the latter will bear fruit a little later. A good job referral maybe. No matter if you consider yourself to be an introvert, channel some amount of your positive energy in forging some good connections . It’s okay even it’s just a meagre number. A person with a good social life will always have an edge in tackling the turbulent times better over someone who doesn’t. So build good a network.
Taking things too seriously
Failed a subject? It’s okay, work a little more harder and you make it next time.
Never take anything too seriously in life except of course your loved ones. At the end of the day nothing really matters as much as your loved ones. Everything else just facilitates us in leading a better life. Everything will fall into place at the right time. Accepting life is fleeting will make you humble and current pandemic we are going through manifests the same. Flash a smile whenever you can, being a little kinder. These small gestures can have a far-reaching impact.
Toxic relationships can be taxing- Say No to them
Experienced a heart break or heard someone talk about theirs? If not everyone, at least most of you will encounter this a few years from now.
‘Honey, You are the love of my life’, ‘You mean the world to me’, ‘No one can replace you’. Who would not feel the gush of happiness, that adrenaline rush when someone makes these statements ?Of course when it comes from an opposite gender. Taking it a little further, how about your crush telling you this? You cannot resist but give in.
This is the part of your life when you start exploiting your freedom, experiment on different things and have a longing for someone. It’s good to have someone, but never force yourself into the idea of entering a relationship just because your friend has one. It might all appear cosy and pleasurable at start, remember not all good beginnings have the same endings(Again not in odds with it, for there cannot be no one as supportive as your loved one right?).
So enter into serious relationships only when both of you are sure of making it work, at least in most cases you can make out if it would if you put brain to work to some degree. I’m telling you this cause getting out of a bad relationship can be both mentally and physically taxing and might even take you years to get out of it (again varies with person) and will impede your progress in every facet of your life. This is the most crucial part of your career and you cannot let these take control of you. So be prudent while you take such big decisions. Apologies for talking a little more on this :P.
Health (mental and physical) is wealth
Yeah you read it right.
Ever heard of someone in an ICU talking about the recent 5 crore penthouse he bought? I know he/she can barely talk. Just imagine.
Valuing one’s health can be an underrated thing and you will sense it’s significance only when you encounter an illness. So, never indulge in something than can be detrimental to your health. Investing time in taking care of your health which includes simple things like a morning walk, a football game in the evening, good sleep, good eating hygiene can put you in good stead in leading a healthy life.
Putting parents first
Feels agonizing to see your parents cry right? At least someone with a functional heart would feel.
You start realizing their importance as they grow old. You will understand the pain they took in raising you by putting yourself in their shoes.This will make you understand things from a broader perspective. It’s always easy to make a face, be harsh at them. How about your kid doing the same to you for not buying him/her an iPhone? Feels sad I know. Take good care of them, spend some quality time, make them smile whenever you can for nothing matters to them than you. So, this is the least you can do for them.
Delayed gratification- Don’t always get carried away.
For those of you who haven’t come across this term.. ‘Study well now, you can enjoy later’. ‘Learn a niche skill, will get you a better paying job’. Heard of these, yeah? Yes it’s correct . You gain something at the cost of something. You will remain entangled with this principle all through your life. You gotta decide what to lose and what not to.
So striking a reasonable balance between both-your ambition and the cost you pay for it-will position you in a good place.
Build grit and resilience
Life can be uncertain. Life has the privilege of throwing you in the most unexpected place. Ever dreamt of the this pandemic in your wildest of dreams? Hopefully No. Not everything is under our control, not everything we plan happens. Having a Plan B is always a good idea.(Like a trip to a nearby beach if Plan Goa fails :P)
Accepting life as it comes and focusing on things you can control and leaving the rest to the universe helps in leading a happy life.
Make memories when you can
20 years down the line, you won’t talk about the Quiz you won in your high school or the the competitive exam in which you outperformed your friend.
Bunk classes, prank your friend, make a random call, talk about the funny moves your teacher made in class, celebrate birthdays, for these small and casual moments will be remembered in detail.
‘Live it while you can, cause it won’t last long’
That’s it from me. Bye and best wishes:)